I am using the term “divorce” in a different way for this post. When you hear “divorce” I’m sure you picture two married couple separating. However, I am using it as a way to address the bond between two friends breaking and breaking for good. And I am referring to it as a divorce because that is pretty much what it is like. There is now a void in your life that wasn’t there before. I chose to write on this because it has something I have been experiencing by my own choice. For the past year pretty much, I have completely turned my life around which has caused me to shut out some people that I believe were no longer necessary to be there. I moved away from my town to a bigger city and realized there is so much more out there. I was stuck in a place surrounded by people that I never realized would turn out to be people that aren’t good for me. Now I not saying I COMPLETELY dropped everyone out of my life but a pretty big chunk. I still have those friends that have continued to be loyal and true that I definitely will keep around. I am just happy to say I can move on from a divorce from a friend and find a new group of people to experience life with.
So what were the key signs that had me pull away from the people I once called friends?
- Maturity- There comes a time where everyone needs to grow up and some people were not maturing as fast as me and never may will. Nothing annoys me more than someone who has a childish way of handling serious things.
- Respect- I do not tolerate disrespect for me or the people I love. Once someone shows me a sign of disrespect, I know it’s time for them to leave.
- Differences- I realized with some people how many differences there were between us. This was with differences in interests and personality and I just couldn’t be around people I couldn’t have a common interest with anymore.
- Excuses- May be the BIGGEST pet peeve of mine. With excuses, comes lies and I knew a lot of people that would frequently face me with lies and excuses to maybe get out of something or straight up not want to tell me the truth. There comes a point where enough is enough.
- Prolonged periods of no contact- I tend to be the first person to ever contact a friend in regards to getting together with this person or just simply asking about life and how things are going for them. If they can never do the same for me and are okay with going a long period of time of not contacting me, obviously they shouldn’t be there anymore.
- Being used- Wow… have I experienced this a lot. Many times I have been used as a “taxi driver” I guess you can say. Well, without the money part at least. For those who did not have a vehicle or even some that did have one, were constantly asking me for rides. At times, that would be the only reason they would ever contact me and the only way were able to do anything together as friends. I am pass that phase and will not be walked over like that ever again. Another frequent circumstance with myself being used is since living in a different town than most of my friends, if I ever wanted to get together with anyone or if they ever wanted to get together with me, I was required to ALWAYS drive to them. A good 45 minutes away…. I tend to never get the same in return unless I offered something in return such as a party with free booze and snacks.
So those are some of the signs I have personally experienced and ones you should look out for as well. Got your own friendship divorce experience to share or any other advice on signs to look out for? Leave a comment!
I guess you can say it is more of a great relief than a sadness for me to move on with my life without some of the people that were once there. I am happy. I am content. I am looking forward to new beginning and moving forward with new people. At just the age of 21, I have experienced many “divorces”, I guess you could say.